Maybe if your dick was thicker than your goddamn eyebrows we wouldn’t be having...– Gay couple arguing outside Walmart (via dacelio)
fluttershwee: benoistmelissas: DO NOT SPEAK TO ME WHEN I HAVE HEADPHONES ON JESUS CHRIST
aquus: before you have sex with me you have to earn it take these two potatoes and this goat and bring them to the river valley where you will meet an old gypsy named madam zeroni. carry madam zeroni back up the mountain on your back and allow her to drink from the stream while you sing for her. she will give you a necklace of beads. return them to me to complete the quest.
iguanamouth: i read that as lions remember who you are
too-stoned-to-remember: Why do dogs go mental when they see another dog I imagine that in their heads they’re like THAT IS DOG I AM DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG
ronweasley: I (h)ate everything, a novel by me.
Dying of frustration and incompetence why finals week must you be such a cold-hearted monster
cacty: time to put on my final exam outfit
To be or not to be? Bitch I might be– William Shakespeare (via finch)